Wednesday Giggles

Oh those nutty Japanese people and their performance artists that come on their insane game shows.

Thanks for making me laugh like a loon. Like. A. Loon.

April is Possibly a Perfect Month

General Conference
Coachella
Spring at the Huntington
Easter
Baseball Opening Day
The NBA Playoffs

and new starts in general.

I know that I've been a bit absent as of late. I've had a number of things going on so I'll try to cover them all with as much accuracy that my 3 tps of wit allows. April has been a rather amazing month.

I've glossed over my Coachella experience already.



* I started a job last month that kind of takes up A LOT of my time. More than it should. I have a lot to say about my job but the first rule of blogging is don't blog about work so I won't. Nevertheless, remind me when you see me for an update because - well - lets just say I feel like I'm in a REALLY bad comedy sometimes.



* Its finally starting to warm up and I find myself a bit sad. I kind of like crispy, clear-aired weather but I love sun too. I went to the Huntington the other Saturday, found a patch of welcoming grass in the rose garden (which is in full bloom right now) and just thawed. It was lovely. It was also kind of funny because my brother called me mid-grass stretch and we started talking about the playoff game the day before. There was a couple sitting on the bench a few feet from me. They weren't conversing at all, she was enraptured in the garden and he had that bored-to-the-point-of-pain look on his face. My brother and I were in a animated Kobe vs. LeBron conversation and I noticed him listening with pointed earnest from a far. I found it rather funny.



* Its the playoffs. The Lakers are in the Conference Semis right now and winning very well. Not at this exact moment, the Huston Rockets are dirty little mean players and have drawn blood more than once. I hope they're all in ace bandages and eye patches when we finally send them home. Grrrr



* I had a lovely random Thursday this last week. Random because I found myself in Hollywood at my favorite music joint with a Facebook friend. I wasn't sure how I knew him or met him, he was a CalPoly person so I thought maybe we had had a class together and I just didn't recognize him but apparently he just was searching for people with similar interests and found and befriended me. We've been in loose communication for a while and this The Rescues concert was coming up at the Hotel Cafe so we decided to go together. He had been kind of flirty online for a bit and then he changed his tone and started saying he felt like I was his "long lost Mormon Little Sister". How guarded can you get? I don't mean to be a brat, but between my real brothers and cousins I have as many male relations as I think I can handle. He had just broken up with someone so I get that space is kind of necessary. I think I'm wholly date worthy so getting this kind of pussyfooted emotional circumlocution not just from LDS guys but non too was a bit of an annoyance. I didn't want to miss out on the concert so I decided to go anyway.

Hanging out was weird enough, but he brought another "friend of his" that hes "sweet on" to the concert half way through. He told me he had wanted her to come but she didn't buy tickets or anything so I just thought we were going to hang out. But low and behold, I became a third wheel and the "little sister" to someone I barely know as well as with people that I've known forever. It was all just weird but I was determined not to have my night ruined. The people were cool enough and the music was AWESOME so I felt the night was a win, I don't think we're going to hang out again though. Not impressed. Not at all.

However, everyone that reads this blog needs to go check out The Rescues right now. They're phenomenal. I think I found my next album to be addicted to.

Sara Ramirez (Callie from Grey's Anatomy) was there and introduced the group and so was Mayor Villaraigosa. Yup - I met the mayor at a rock concert in Hollywood. Only in Los Angeles. He is a tiny little man and was quite drunk. When he shook my hand he grabbed my elbow with his other hand to steady himself. It was quite an experience. So yeah - if I were to sum up the night it would be "Awkward guys, garden burgers, transformative music and the Mayor".



* While watching the Laker game this last Monday I got a call from my bishopric member asking me to speak in two weeks and to speak on Elaine Dalton's talk from the Oct 08 Conference called "A Return to Virtue". He also pointed out that the theme for the ward this year is "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly" so essentially the bishop has passed off the quarterly chastity talk to me. I'm laughing like a loon to myself. How funny can it get. Asking the hippie's daughter to address Chastity? I CAN'T WAIT to have a podium to talk about. I'll probably be sorting out some of my thoughts on here and asking for feedback sometime this week so you've been warned.



*I went to the Ren Faire last weekend for the first time and it was magical. I ran into a few people I was hoping not to but what can you do? We saw an amazing joust and our knight was pretty hot. He was one of the good guys too. We didn't stay for the Death Match at the end of the day but I'm sure he won. He has a really friendly horse too. Wendy got us all garbed up and we were all proper maids, scallywags and belly dancers. We had the munchkins in cloaks and spend the day throwing axes and eating turkey legs and listening to hammered dulcimers and watching nobles parade about and play blinds man bluff and got flirted with and harangued by the royal guards. Just a typical day at the Faire. I loved it. And taking in the Faire with your former professor who is a medievalist and her chemical engineer husband, ridiculously brilliant children and old classmates/bosom friends is a rare and glorious thing.

It's been a pretty amazing month. I'll keep you posted better in the future. I promise. Once things start balancing out.

I Have Very Little to Complain about

List of Necessities for Awesome Weekendness

gut busting hilarity - check
comedian surfers all-up-ons - check
spiritual enlightenment and rejuvenation - check
fantastic conversation - check
ukulele - check
amazing friends - check
delicious food - check
adorable outfit to do it all in - check
live rock band 80's karaoke - check

Let me elaborate.

It started earlier this week. I went to a show last Saturday called Point Break LIVE that my friend Molly had found. It was in this tiny random club/bar on Santa Monica called The Dragonfly. When we first got there we walked in and saw a room full of people on fold out chairs in plastic rain ponchos. Not exactly the scene you'd be expecting when you're out to see a show. They were selling "survival kits" at the door with a poncho, a napkin, and some Monopoly money. From the smell of the place and the sea of plastic people it was obvious water was going to be involved. We were right. It was this HILARIOUS over the top show of improv actors reenacting the complex and gripping plot of Point Break. The trick is that Keanu, or Johnny Utah, (the main character) is someone they just pluck out of the audience. So naturally he'd be a bit disoriented and totally lost, much like Keanu in the movie. It was perfect. There was tons of water, we went to the beach (read: blow up automan with a brown sheet thrown over it), through a monsoon (read: Super soakers and wind machines), saw blood spilt and gun fights (read: cap guns and Hawaiian Punch) and pretty much laughed our butts off.

So, come Monday, as I was reporting the hilarious antics of this show to my old housemate Emily and she got more and more excited because, apparently, Point Break is one of her favorite movies ever. So Friday night we went back and though I didn't believe it was possible, it was even funnier. We suited up in our cute little blue ponchos, made friends with the people around us, gawked at the very very hot guys that were the surfers, and generally had the time of our lives.



We got home relatively early and lolloped around my room talking and laughing and playing with my new Sephora conquests (best idea ever btw). It was just like old times. She's a keeper and one of the best people ever to laugh with. Ever.

Saturday was our Stake day in the temple. It was life changing. I saw more people that I love that hadn't in a long time. I was totally rejuvenated, taught, and loved.

The day would have been fantastic if it ended there, but oh no, it was just getting started.

I had two friends getting married that day with receptions both that night. The session went long so the chapel session went long and there was traffic on the way home so I was late to both but that didn't really matter.

The first was was my friend Tess'. She opted to have it at her home instead of a church building and it was a wedding for the books. Her parents are pretty well off and they live in this amazing home in the hills of La Verne. There was a fresh crepe bar and twinkle lights and fresh flowers everywhere and fish swimming in the water they were in. There was hot chocolate (complete with marsmallows), heat lamps, a good amount of screaming children and white chairs and tulle. In other words, a capital "W" Wedding. I had my first non-sweet crepe. They had a dessert bar and a single layer red velvet cake. It was amazing. Whats awesome though is that my friend and her now husband are very non-traditional types so amid this perfect, fresh flowered ivory candled and gardenia flotating in the pool Wedding was my gorgeous friend in her bead encrusted wedding dress singing a song she'd written for her husband on her ukulele. Don't worry, she can sing and it was cute and sweet not awkward like some musical attempts by couples at their weddings can be. The daddy daughter dance song she chose was Mushaboom. Pure awesome.

It's hard to imagine something that cool and that gorgeous but it was. There was balance to the Force. It was also hard to leave but on my way out I found another friend of mine in a teary mess. She was upset about some things so I gave her a hug and sat with her in her car for a bit while she talked about what was bugging her. After about 20 minutes when she had finished crying it all out I realized I had nothing I could say that could help. There was only one remedy I knew so I said

"You know what you need? Live Rock Band Karaoke and a Diet Coke. Lets go."

So she became my impromptu date to my other friend, Courtney's wedding. Now I had been excited about this party for about 4 months. Courtney is one of the coolest people I have ever met. Her whole family is just insanely fun. She lives in the Bay area, works at a museum, and was my punk rock Relief Society President. I love her.

She told me a while back that she'd hit up this joint down in Long Beach that did karaoke but not with machines, oh no, with a real band. Real players jammin and having a good time behind you and you get to wail on a mic just like you were a rock star. She looked up the band and booked them for the wedding. It was going to be at this fun place in the Claremont Village and her family are famous cooks so it was going to be great food too. It was a perfect party storm. The exact kind of party my teary friend needed.

We got there at a very conservative 9:30 and the police had just been called about the noise so to keep the peace the band set up inside and kept going. Now let me tell you something, I have been to A LOT of weddings, Mormon and non and this party was the most fun I have ever had at a wedding. The endorphins were pumping everywhere and they were contagious. The band could not believe that no one there had had a single drink. We partied and sang along and rocked out to every awesome 80's tune you can think of.

Don't Stop Believing - check
Livin' on a Prayer - check
Walk Like an Egyptian - check
Sweet Child of Mine - check
Let me tell you something else. Seeing one of your bishopric members rock out Sweet Child of Mine is one of the coolest sights possible in this life. I'm convinced.

We went loud and hard till 11:00, then we finished with Free Bird and Courtney and Cameron had their first dance in front of everyone in their insanely cool wedding outfits dancing, jumping and jamming like the rock stars they are. Then the band packed up and the guitarist said what we were all thinking;

"I have played 100s of weddings but this is by far the funnest one I have been to"

There is just a magic that happens when a bunch of naturally crazy people, some good food, a few ties and dresses, and an electric guitar all come together in the same room and it's called Courtney's Amazing Wedding

I was so busy having fun that I forgot to take pictures but believe me, it was epic.

My teary eyed friend had the time of her life, we all had an amazing party and a little more happiness entered the world.

If that's not an amazing weekend I don't know what is.

Getting tailed by a lurking Claremont cop, being pulled over for "the lights around my license plate being out", and making me do the follow the tip of my finger with your eyes drunk test and asking me if I've had anything to drink 4x was pretty funny. When I told him the hardest I ever went was Diet Coke and I had had two of them he laughed and told me to I was good to go and I thought "Yes. Yes I was".

Friday Awesome

So this came up on one of my podcasts this week and I was kind of torn as to how to react because the interview was just down right hilarious. Like talking to someone that was a cross between a 5 year old dressed as a cowboy, a car salesman and a Barker from a carnival.

"Whats faster than what you do?"
"The speed of light"

But when he could back up what he was saying I was slightly impressed. Decide for yourselves.

Friday Awesome

Because I love Daft Punk and coordinated people.

Sorry I'm off this week too - I've been helping with 12th Night. I'll explain later (with pics of course :))

In the meantime slap on your glow in the dark makeup, put yourself in an anime music video and see why this video is originality^2 and why this group even made Kanye eat his heart out.

I Paid for This?

I am totally an admitted wimp. I am a bleeding heart. I convulsively cried at Where the Heart Is and didn't sleep for 3 days after I saw The Ring.

Things affect me.

A lot.

Little things, big things, said things, unsaid things; my brain records them all, my heart picks up on all of it and they stay with me. It’s taken years of practice, deep breathing, theater training, and mobilizing the vast pool of logic that Heavenly Father has seen fit to give me to balance out my spongy brain and figure out how to keep myself from going in every direction at once. I don’t want to be that girl and exhaust and annoy everyone around me and I’d like to think I’ve been marginally successful.

However, because of this I don't like being scared because I get SCARED. It typically doesn't go away for days and days. I avoid scary things like the plague, especially scary movies.

I enjoy suspenseful movies (read: The Village) and being startled is a bit fun. Like when you can immediately laugh at yourself and shake off the adrenaline. That’s fine. I grew up with brothers, that’s just a fact of life.

But I don't like being scared..... and its Halloween.

All the good candy is coming out and Disney's Halloween Treat will be on every half hour somewhere till the end of the month (Huey dressed as a witch was always my favorite).

For a long time I was a very big Halloween grinch. My pumpkin got smashed and my cat died on the same Halloween once and it took me years to forgive the day but I finally did. My friend Jamie reintroduced me to the joy that is the 7 year old's Halloween when I was 20 or so - dressing up and candy.

I even got talked into going to Knott's Scary Farm once for a friend's bachelorette party (yeah – I know. I don’t get it either. She loved it though and it was about her that night…) and I actually had fun. But only after the first 20 minutes when I got over the "OHMY Creepy Batman" and realized that they all were all goofy teenagers in campy monster costumes running around with noise makers. It was funny.

So I don’t know what got into me when I got talked into going to going to the “haunted house” at Fairplex.

Well… I do know what I was thinking but that’s a blog for another day…
The meat of the matter is that I ended up there with a group of people from church.

We bought our tickets and got in line and proceeded to wait for over an hour to get into this ply wooded and spray painted attempt at a front of a spooky haunted house. The theme was it was an asylum that had been demented and all the patients had gotten loose.

Cue eye roll.

There were the standard strobe lights and looped 16 bars from The Exorcist theme ting-tanging through cheap speakers that were situated behind a dangling skeleton over the entrance.

It might have been ominous at a quick glass or pass, but an hour in line gives you ample time to realize how this was probably designed by a 15 year old while on a 15 min break with the Stage Crew. Now the group I was with was a bit odd. There were 8 of us. 3 guys, 5 girls. The ratios were a bit off for a truly hilarious experience. I mean, that’s why guys take girls to haunted houses right, so they’ll freak out and be all over them and they get to be heroes and feel invincible right? Anyway…

2 of the girls in this group are some of the best people on the planet. However, to say they were skittish would also be a gross understatement. These are the girls who won’t touch raw meat because if flips them out. Now imagine that kind of hyper girly flip out potential standing in line to a haunted house with “monsters” pacing up and down the line scaring people as they go. Yeah -

All of us were expecting a hilarious show, at our friend’s psychological expense. But that’s what Halloween is about right? Right –

I am unspeakably grateful that those two were there because it took attention off of the fact that I was quietly and internally flipping out myself. I like to think that externally I appear put together, but, at the time, there were nothing but pans rattling and air horns of panic and anxiety going off just behind my eyes. I don’t like being scared and here I was totally opening myself up for it. I stood in line next to my friend whose idea this whole excursion was while he just smiled and watched me talk too fast and stand with my arms crossed and keep quiet pretending to listening to people around me. But alas and once again, just a few centimeters underneath my skin I was practically shaking.

However, by the time we got to the front of the line the monsters were funny, the “BOOO!!! Ohhhh, snarl snarly” was funny. I had planked up my brain for that and I was good to go by the time we went in.

I was somehow nominated to lead our group through this maze. It was a maze and it sucked. I’m not good at mazes, never have been. There were machines that sent bursts of air at your feet that startled me and badly made up girls walking around in night gowns pretending to be crazy but I was well. There were dead ends that I led people straight into that had gauntly looking bloody type people in showers popping out at me and I was well.

It went totally dark and I wasn’t so well. That’s when I started groping for reassuring somebodys and I peaked around every corner like the flaming chicken that I am but somehow towards the end of the maze when I thought I had made it through like a pro we were in this room that was really narrow and through some turn I ended up at the back of group instead of the front. It was dark and I was anxious for it all to be over so I grabbed onto the person in front of me who happened to be my friend Brad that I have known since my pre mission days. The guy has seen me in almost every possible respect, except this one apparently.

I had a pretty good grip on his jacket and I was looking around for anyone who might be behind me and instead of a group member there was one of the monster people. Now, at Knott’s the rule is that the monsters stay in whatever room you see them in. Once you make it through a room you’re safe from that particular monster. That’s the haunted house norm so I thought “ok just a few more feet and he’ll back off…”

Oh no –

He followed me into the next room and I said “Brad, there’s a monster behind me” and Brad turned around and said over his shoulder “I KNOW!” and I tightened my grip on his jacket a little bit more. So the monster guy starts his creepy voice saying something to scare me.

Now, if he had stayed in character and the following would have happened I would have been perfectly fine. However he did not -

He cleared his throat, broke character, and in a perfectly normal voice said “Ooooh – you smell good.” Brad and I both started laughing but I can’t tell you how this totally unnerved me. If he wasn’t wearing such a sturdy jacket I could have possibly ripped it with how much tighter my grip got. If someone was that close and normally clad and made up that still would have unnerved me.

Then he got super close to me and started smelling and breathing on my neck. I had my hair pulled back so it was exposed and he was really enjoying himself as a dude, not the supposed monster he was supposed to be. They’re not allowed to touch people but that was enough for me.

I bolted and he took off after me. I pushed past the people in our group trying to put some distance between us but, the oh so loving people that I was with saw a show and just got out of his and my way. My other friend (the ones who’s this idea was in the first place) saw me and him bolt by and noted that he also had a chainsaw and told him to “fire it up!” So when there was a bit of an opening and he had me on the run the monster guy roared the chainsaw to life and that’s when my last shred of logic and dignity just fell out of my ears.

I grabbed for the first person I saw and who was it? Only one of our loveably skittish sisters. She barely turned around and saw a totally unglued Lizzie with a chainsaw wielding fiend behind her, and bless her, she caught me and just as terror filled, did what she could which was sink down and sit in the chair that was there and I ended up crouched on the floor right next to her with my head covered.

I stayed there for a second or two and peeked up when the chainsaw finally died and the monster was silently crouched right in front of me about 6 inches from my face just waiting for me to come to and properly made fun of me when I recovered 30 seconds later.

We got out of the maze and made our way back to the car all reliving my meltdown and reporting what we were thinking and what was funny and everyone was marveling that “of all of us here – Liz would be the one to cave…”

Glad I could take one for the team people. That’s what I’m here for.

It was absolutely ridiculous and a total blast. I can’t deny how fun it was. I never once thought I was in any kind of proper danger. It was just an adrenaline rush and a chance to release a little I think. I almost kept it together but I think I just can’t handle mud faced, chainsaw wielding, clown suited, actors enjoying my DKNY perfume at close range.

Call me crazy.

Koledj Rox

TV Reviews

I'm It

Whoo Hoo! Game time....

Rules (cause we love rules):
1. The player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves.

2. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, and then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog for the rules.

So, the Lovely Rachel has charged me to disclose 6 quirks and or strange habits about myself via blog (that I haven't already) and pass on the love.

This might be tough...
Um -

6) When I come across something I have a tendency to classify them in one of three different categories; "LOVE!", "Lame", "Loathe". I very rarely feel neutral or "meh" about something. If it's "like" worthy then I pick it apart for something to love so I can classify it in LOVE! And even if there is a morsel that is lovable it qualifies in the LOVE! category. I don't like to loathe things so that's why I designed Lame. I think there are only about 10 things that have a place in Loathe and stay there (abusive people, pedophilia, apathy, liars - those kind of things). This is my approach to everything. Music, food, places, people, books, plate tectonics (LOVE!). I think its a marvelous thing to feel and to feel wonderful so I look for it as often as possible.

5) Tendency #6 leads me to my #5 which is that I have a tendency to speak in superlatives. It is totally unintentional and I have no desire to dilute the meaning of a word or the awesomeness of what I am speaking to, but because I just love things it comes out as "my favorite!" or "the best!" or "awesomest thing ever!". And when I proclaim that I really mean it. Even if its for that space and time of 15 seconds that I pull that particular subject out of the LOVE! file. I've been working on being more keeled in my speech but for those of you that so patiently deal with the fire hose of "Bestest thing ever ever!" - that's why.

4) I have randomly occurring anal-retentive tendencies: My closet is organized according to type of clothing and where it falls in the color gradient. The shoes and purses are separated by blacks and browns on respective halves of it. The shoes don't point to magnetic north, but I have considered it. My movies and CDs are alphabetized. Most bottles in my bathroom are arranged in descending size order and the bills in my wallet always are in numerical faced order. Oh - and I refold clothes in stores.

3) I take particular joy in waving and smiling at people waiting on corners for the crosswalk sign to change when I'm stopped at a light in my car. They always look bored and half afraid that someone will talk to them and super anxious to just cross the street. So I wave and smile to simultaneously 1)realize their anxiety 2) let them laugh at themselves 3) and let them feel like a person not another something that cars avoid.

2) There have been times when I was showing friends where I grew up in Pasadena that after I've taken them on the brief neighborhood tour that I've introduced them to my trees. There were 3 or 4 trees around my home that were always special thoughtful spots for and to me. So yes - I've introduced people to trees. No I did not hug them but, like magnetic north, I have considered it.

1) I've always dreamed of being one of the kids on Kids Incorporated and then growing up to be one of Janet Jackson's back up dancers or having a regular spot as a Solid Gold Dancer. When I'm not lost in some kind of space in my head and I'm just driving I find myself choreographing and dancing to whats on the radio. I am an unfulfilled ballerina/hip hop diva - and honestly, I'm ok with that. Community college ballet classes are just wonderful and remind me why my budding Solid Gold career began and ended in front of my TV in my living room. But there is, and always will be, a pair of worn out character shoes and ballet slippers hanging up somewhere in my heart.

I think that I'm going to tag: Kim, Tracy, Shelly, Mari B, Hannah, and Nick. Cause I'm dying to know. Seriously.