Christmas Thoughts

I try to imagine what living in Jerusalem must be like right now. Being there with all those different kinds of people feeling SO strongly about the city for totally different reasons and being caught in those emotional riptides running down the streets and having it all be trumped by the majesty of the presence of the city and the the history it holds. I would like to think that I would be educated and humbled everyday by the amplitude that the people there live their lives and practiced their faith. How could anyone living is such a city do any different?

I would imagine that I would keenly watch the women there. I can see them hurrying up and down the streets with their respective loads for their respective households and practically hearing the running list of things to do and see to before tomorrow and seeing that grace that is always in an honest and hard working woman's eyes. My eyes would soften a bit if I saw a woman with child. I'd stop for a second and turn my eyes to the ground when she walked by hoping she wouldn't see me welling up.

I would be more attuned to the sound of a fussing baby or the sight of an open horse's stall. The incense coming out of doorways I was passing would wake up images of Solomon's temple and the synagouges that pepper the city. I would catch different refrains of prayers being sung in different languages but all equal in fervor.

I would wonder at every cobble stone I stood on.

Was he here? Did he stand here? Did someone he loved stand here? Where they here when they saw the star? Did it move them to pray? To sing? Did they see a woman with child earlier that day that made them wonder?

Someone was here and someone saw and for a moment everyone heard a baby cry.

Let Earth receiver her King.

Merry Christmas

Wednesday Giggles

Tis the Season

The Real Ms. Stacy

There are a lot of things I need to remember more. One being that despite being of the Land of Bonkers, that my mother is magical and two, that I am very lucky to have her.

We have this adorable family that comes and takes care of our yard. The father and mother and kids all show up every week and roar their horrid leaf blowers to life and prune and pluck and all that jazz. One of the members of this family is this sweet 13 year old girl. None of them really speak English too well but you can tell from just meeting them that they’re good honest souls. They even bring their little dog to help work. It’s serious ohana on Saturdays at our place.

Mom has a little garden that she loves a lot. It’s this random hodge-podge of potted this and thats put around the outside of the house in about the same order that they would go in her brain, which is in circular order from the door on out of which one is prettiest and makes her the happiest. That day. A garden in a distinctly sectioned off patch of earth with rows of things??! Please – that is for the common folk… And we all know that that is not my mother.

So, though mom loves piddling in her garden getting to it and getting everything watered regularly is a bit of a challenge, she’s befriended this little girl (they’re about the same age I think) and she helps her with her garden. Well amongst a Saturday chat it came out that this girl likes to read (she goes to school and speaks good English, it’s just the parents that don’t) and mom started chirping about Twilight and the girl said that she’d love to read it but her family has no extra money for books and she has no time to get to the library because she works when she’s not in school.

So mom went directly into the house and got the book, handed it to this adorable 13 year old girl and she almost started crying and gave my mom a tearful and silent hug. Mom said she could bring it back whenever she was finished and the girl was so excited she didn’t let it go the rest of the time she was there. The whole family sleeps in the same room so she had to stay up at night reading in the bathroom so the light wouldn’t wake everybody else and she finished it in days with nothing but smiles. She brought it back and mom gave her New Moon but couldn’t find her copy of Eclipse so she snuck into my room and gave her my copy.

So when I came home from AZ on Sunday night mom had that busted kid look on her face and I knew exactly what it meant. She only gets that way about stuff that she’s messed with that I truly care about which is usually my books. She has a bad habit of not asking about stuff and an even worse habit of being super hard on books. So I said “Which book did you borrow mom?” and she explained the story to me and swore on Odin’s eye patch that if anything happened to it she’d replace it and throw in some chocolate as well but the last thing on my mind was the safety and structural integrity of my book. I was floored and humbled.

Humbled that I don’t have to stay up late sitting on a cold bathroom floor to be able to read, humbled that I have a mother who is so capable of touching and giving the magic of books to the exact person who needs it the most, humbled that that magic lady down the street that dresses funny but changes your world is my mother. Like this little girl will never forget my mom because of her kindness and because of her ability to see people as people, that she was an honest friend, that she was concerned about this little girl’s mind and heart insomuch that she gave her a book to read, a book that she’ll love.

I complain more than I should about my insane mother, but she is some of the best kind of people that does the best kind of things and I consider myself truly blessed to have her and for the mental and emotional freedoms she’s given me by reading to me and handing me a book. By seeing my mind and my heart and knowing how to affect both. Mom truly understands Christmas. She truly understands a lot of things.

I need to get a set of Twilight for that sweet girl for Christmas. And a reading light, or a pillow. Or both. Who’s with me?

Daytime Twinkle Lights

So its Christmas Eve and I'm taking a bit of a breather so I decided to check in. I've been lame-o of lame-os in terms of being a blog maven this month. I have sufficient excuses but I still feel lame. But I've finally had sufficient time to actually think about stuff outside of a deadline and gotten sufficient sleep to string more than 3 coherent thoughts together as well.

As a total aside - Sleep is really underrated. Americans need to embrace the concept. Like make it socially acceptable to take a nap during the day and make you a social bozo if you're out past 11. It just makes EVERYTHING better.

But on to Christmas -

I'm really excited. I'm always excited but I love Christmas because it the perfect occasion to give the gifts I've been wanting to give all year long. I somehow have acquired a number of amazing friends and family members that have this complex about gifts and so I don't get to give them "just because" (which is my favorite time to give a gift) because they don't know how to receive them too well. I don't really care for the gift obligation that occasions warrant - but that's besides the point. I think gifts should be given just because. Like hugs and breath mints and nights out for sushi and any other manifestations of love and regard you can think of.

"because I love you and you're there you should have this."

I think that's how it should be, but since its Christmas I get to incorporate the Savior so its a two-fer! Testimony builder and chance to tell someone that I love them. Super Yay!

I've gotten a few gifts already and I adore all of them but I think the best one I've received thus far is peace of mind.

Earlier this week I had a dream -
And this isn't a MLKJr kind of dream or a Lehi dream or a Midsummer Night's kind. Just a woke up, went back to sleep, had a really potent dream kind of dream. Now, I'm usually not all metaphysical like this but I cannot just put away the veracity of this experience. So yeah I had a dream, but I was taught a really good lesson too.

A bit of background first though:
So I'm pretty thick when it comes to the whole "love thing". I'm clueless when its in front of my face and have managed to only get myself into the twit of love when its not received and/or returned. I totally own it. Its ridiculous and I'm working on it but you kind of can only practice being in a relationship when you're IN a relationship and because of my near/farsighted approach to the whole matter that makes practice a bit difficult.

As a result I regularly ask myself some hard questions:
Since the whole true-love thing is all but a mystery to me what if its in front of my face and I don't even recognize it?
What if (past people) was the real thing and I let it go because it wasn't what I was expecting? What if I've read too many fairy tales and Jane Austen to be realistic about this love thing? Why can't I just get out of my own way?

So I had this dream - and you know those kinds of dreams that aren't just shapes and people and events. The kind that feel real. The way things smell and feel are real. The feelings you feel are real, the conversations you have are real. It all is just in a super clear, super real universe. But especially the feelings. ALL of the feelings are real and they change you a little bit. You feel fear and happiness and excitement and The Spirit and everything else. The real kind of dreams. Well this was one of those dreams. I've only had dreams like this a few times and they've typically been about things that are really important to me.

In this dream I was up in Utah (at grad school apparently) and I was at this big choir practice and there was this guy there. We met, went on a date, and it was this whole montaged courtship but it was the best kind of courtship. I was totally in love but it wasn't the sparks a-flying wand waving kind. It was the puzzle piece kind. Like it just fit and it was wonderful and comfortable and I was wholly accepted and loved. Like he was looking specifically for me and had found me, I wasn't just someone he had settled for (which is a darkened and locked back room fear I have). It was wonderful and I think that it was a gift. It was an answer to a prayer I hadn't even said. I think it was God familiarizing me with how love should be and whats in store so that I can recognize that kind of love and him when he comes along.

I have never felt more at peace on the matter than I am right now or have had so many "what ifs" erased from past twits.

Merry Christmas Lizzie,
Know that you're loved and know that you know how to love. No worries.
Love,
Heavenly Father

Best Hot Chocolate on the Face of the Planet Ever EVER

A few Christmases ago my boss, as office presents, gave us this super super yummy hot chocolate mix in these adorable mugs with some Hershey's kisses and a candy cane. I recently remembered the heaven that those few mug fulls were and asked her for the recipe the other day and made it -

And I am, once again, taken and I needed to share the joy.
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Mix:
3 c powdered sugar
1 c nonfat dry milk
2 c instant NesQuik
3/4 c French Vanilla non-dairy creamer
1 lg (6oz) box of instant chocolate pudding

mix together in a large bowl and store in cool, dry place in an air tight container.

To enjoy: add 3tbs to 1 c of boiling water (adjust according to size of mug and pallet). Add marshmallows and a Hershey's kiss. Stir with a candy cane.
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I've yet to find its equivalent. I even like it better than the Ghirardelli stuff - and that's saying something.

The world should know. Seriously.

Christmas

So I feel the burning need to post but I don't have sufficient time to really write so I'm going to do another one of Shelly's games because I love memories and especially memories about Christmas.
So Merry Ho ho ho and stuff :D

Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I'm going to have to go with hot chocolate. My boss made us this gourmet mix stuff one year as office gifts. SO good. It was chocolate, powdered milk, powdered sugar, instant pudding mix, and french vanilla non dairy creamer. My world has never been the same.

Do you wrap your presents or not? I actually really love wrapping presents and making them pretty and getting the right ribbon with just the right the paper. However, I hate having to do it 50 times in one sitting.

Colored lights or white? I love white lights. Its like insta-fairy grotto for anything. Toppled down shack, add a few lights and brrrraaaddding! bearable toppled down shack.

Do you hang mistletoe? No, but I'm always looking for a new tradition to embrace.

When do you put up your decorations? I don't have a specific time. Either before finals to avoid studying or after so usually the first two weeks of December but NOT before Thanksgiving. That's a promise

What is your favorite holiday dish? On Christmas Eve mom always puts out those little cocktail weenies in BBQ sauce and toothpicks. I never eat them because I was traumatized by a hot dog manufacturing video once and I typically don't care for BBQ sauce but the second I smell them I start singing Little Drummer Boy.

Favorite memory as a child? About Christmas or in general? Well Christmas memory wise I remember one time when I was about 6 or 7 and we had just gotten the Christmas tree and we were decorating it (that was my favorite part). Our tree is composed of ornaments that each kid got some different year. We all get one every year so when we take them all out the next year we get to reminisce about every other Christmas before. Christopher was always some form or a Drummer Boy, I was some Angel cognate, Jonathan was a Nutcracker, and Nick was a bear usually. Well anyways - we had to go to sleep before the tree was finished and I was pretty heart broken but I was so excited about it that I couldn't sleep. So I went back upstairs to the front room after Mom and Dad had finished and gone to bed and everything was dark the parentals kept the tree lit and it was so magical to my 6 year old eyes in that dark room. I just sat on the floor in front of it and soaked it up. I think I fell asleep there but coming up the stairs to the soft glow of a lit and decorated tree was pretty awesome.

When and how did you learn about Santa? I can't remember exactly. I think Christopher outlined it out for me when I was about 7

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes - growing up we opened one and it was always new pjs. Not too shabby.

How do you decorate your tree? Well family wise see #8. My tree in my apt I use ribbon and some stock ball ornaments and I've decided to buy a pretty ornament every year too so I only really have 2 noteworthy ones but give me time. :D I'm thinking about starting to collect the Wedgwood ornaments. My friend Adrienne does that and it seems so classy and lady like to me so I might shamelessly copy her.

Snow...love it or dread it? After my recent snowing in experience in Utah I think I can honestly say that I love it as long as I have good socks and gloves and don't have to drive. It somehow makes things more homey. Like home is not just a good place to be - its where you want to be and seems warmer. That and you feel like you're on Hoth but without the snowbeasts

Can you ice skate? I haven't attempted in years but I can hold my own. Its like riding a bike. Right?

Do you remember your favorite gift? My grandparents gave me the entire Anne of Green Gables series one year and a swatch. I don't think I've been happier in my entire life.

What is the most important part of the holidays? Reaching out to other people. I think that we live 75% of our life in the 4 weeks in December. We visit more and party more and shop more and travel more and eat more and just blah - and if you have people to love and go to its marvelous but there are a lot of people who don't have someones and its torture. I want to give them a hug. That and the Music. Yay for people regularly singing about the Savior. Its beautiful.

Favorite holiday dessert? hmm - probably my great grandma's sugar cookies. Mostly because I like to nibble at the dough when its chilling but nothing screams Christmas more than that to me.

Favorite tradition? Every year on Christmas Eve we do our candle ceremony. When my parents were married a squillion years ago my Nana gave my mom this beautiful German carved pillar candle with a music box in the bottom that played Silent Night and every year we light that candle and play the music and Daddy reads Luke II. When hes done and the music box finishes we each have our own little personal candles (nutcrackers, angels, bears, drummer boys) and we light it from the central candle to remind ourselves about the Light of Christ and how that's where we draw our strength from and why we sing. Then we sing with the music box again, open presents and go to bed. I love Christmas.

Favorite Christmas Carol? Lo How a Rose and Gesu Bambino