Dear Buddah, please bring me a toy gun and a plastic rocket

So I was in Borders yesterday.
I didn't mean to be.

I honestly have taken a vow never to shop on a holiday weekend. I don't like feeling like I want to punch everyone I see and regularly resisting the urge to ram down lines of people with shopping carts and projectiles in the form of my high healed shoes but I find myself regularly in that head space when I go somewhere during those specific hours. I need to live someplace less crowded, do some more yoga or find a different time to shop. Or all three.

But this was a dire situation.

I made the mistake of Netflixing only the fist disc of North and South and I simply couldn't wait three days for the second installment. I would die a luggers death of anxiety and suspense if I did. It was so gorgeous that I promptly went out and bought the film and the book for good measure.

(I've also [completely inadvertently] made the mistake of watching about 7 but British movies since Friday nearly all in a row so I'm humming with a bit of the Britty savor so forgive me in advance.)

But all of this is utterly beside the point.

The point is (though I am hopelessly in love with this film and this story and everyone on this planet should watch it once a week to have a complete and fulfilled life) that when in line for said articles I saw this.

I was excessively diverted but honestly left wondering at its veracity. And so, like I do, I went poking about via google and its true! There is a St. Vivenne and she is the Patron Saint of Hangovers. There is also St. Werenfried - Patron Saint of Stiff Joints, St. Roch - Patron Saint of Cholera, St. Dismas - Patron Saint of Death Row Inmates and many many many others.


(I'm not making this up - I swear)

I only got to D before I collapsed in amazed giggles and my biggest question was - is there an librarian employed at the Vatican exclusively for keeping all of this straight? Does he have his own office and wing? Its a bit along the lines of Jenna the goddess of Hairdos and Jeff the god of Biscuits isn't it? They're very serious about this and I don't intend to treat someones faith with contemptible levity at all - but it is a bit of a Nickelodeon cartoon carnival ride though - you must admit.

I wonder if they covered red noses, hang nails, bald tires, and ornery older brothers? Cause I could use some help there.