I Have Very Little to Complain about

List of Necessities for Awesome Weekendness

gut busting hilarity - check
comedian surfers all-up-ons - check
spiritual enlightenment and rejuvenation - check
fantastic conversation - check
ukulele - check
amazing friends - check
delicious food - check
adorable outfit to do it all in - check
live rock band 80's karaoke - check

Let me elaborate.

It started earlier this week. I went to a show last Saturday called Point Break LIVE that my friend Molly had found. It was in this tiny random club/bar on Santa Monica called The Dragonfly. When we first got there we walked in and saw a room full of people on fold out chairs in plastic rain ponchos. Not exactly the scene you'd be expecting when you're out to see a show. They were selling "survival kits" at the door with a poncho, a napkin, and some Monopoly money. From the smell of the place and the sea of plastic people it was obvious water was going to be involved. We were right. It was this HILARIOUS over the top show of improv actors reenacting the complex and gripping plot of Point Break. The trick is that Keanu, or Johnny Utah, (the main character) is someone they just pluck out of the audience. So naturally he'd be a bit disoriented and totally lost, much like Keanu in the movie. It was perfect. There was tons of water, we went to the beach (read: blow up automan with a brown sheet thrown over it), through a monsoon (read: Super soakers and wind machines), saw blood spilt and gun fights (read: cap guns and Hawaiian Punch) and pretty much laughed our butts off.

So, come Monday, as I was reporting the hilarious antics of this show to my old housemate Emily and she got more and more excited because, apparently, Point Break is one of her favorite movies ever. So Friday night we went back and though I didn't believe it was possible, it was even funnier. We suited up in our cute little blue ponchos, made friends with the people around us, gawked at the very very hot guys that were the surfers, and generally had the time of our lives.



We got home relatively early and lolloped around my room talking and laughing and playing with my new Sephora conquests (best idea ever btw). It was just like old times. She's a keeper and one of the best people ever to laugh with. Ever.

Saturday was our Stake day in the temple. It was life changing. I saw more people that I love that hadn't in a long time. I was totally rejuvenated, taught, and loved.

The day would have been fantastic if it ended there, but oh no, it was just getting started.

I had two friends getting married that day with receptions both that night. The session went long so the chapel session went long and there was traffic on the way home so I was late to both but that didn't really matter.

The first was was my friend Tess'. She opted to have it at her home instead of a church building and it was a wedding for the books. Her parents are pretty well off and they live in this amazing home in the hills of La Verne. There was a fresh crepe bar and twinkle lights and fresh flowers everywhere and fish swimming in the water they were in. There was hot chocolate (complete with marsmallows), heat lamps, a good amount of screaming children and white chairs and tulle. In other words, a capital "W" Wedding. I had my first non-sweet crepe. They had a dessert bar and a single layer red velvet cake. It was amazing. Whats awesome though is that my friend and her now husband are very non-traditional types so amid this perfect, fresh flowered ivory candled and gardenia flotating in the pool Wedding was my gorgeous friend in her bead encrusted wedding dress singing a song she'd written for her husband on her ukulele. Don't worry, she can sing and it was cute and sweet not awkward like some musical attempts by couples at their weddings can be. The daddy daughter dance song she chose was Mushaboom. Pure awesome.

It's hard to imagine something that cool and that gorgeous but it was. There was balance to the Force. It was also hard to leave but on my way out I found another friend of mine in a teary mess. She was upset about some things so I gave her a hug and sat with her in her car for a bit while she talked about what was bugging her. After about 20 minutes when she had finished crying it all out I realized I had nothing I could say that could help. There was only one remedy I knew so I said

"You know what you need? Live Rock Band Karaoke and a Diet Coke. Lets go."

So she became my impromptu date to my other friend, Courtney's wedding. Now I had been excited about this party for about 4 months. Courtney is one of the coolest people I have ever met. Her whole family is just insanely fun. She lives in the Bay area, works at a museum, and was my punk rock Relief Society President. I love her.

She told me a while back that she'd hit up this joint down in Long Beach that did karaoke but not with machines, oh no, with a real band. Real players jammin and having a good time behind you and you get to wail on a mic just like you were a rock star. She looked up the band and booked them for the wedding. It was going to be at this fun place in the Claremont Village and her family are famous cooks so it was going to be great food too. It was a perfect party storm. The exact kind of party my teary friend needed.

We got there at a very conservative 9:30 and the police had just been called about the noise so to keep the peace the band set up inside and kept going. Now let me tell you something, I have been to A LOT of weddings, Mormon and non and this party was the most fun I have ever had at a wedding. The endorphins were pumping everywhere and they were contagious. The band could not believe that no one there had had a single drink. We partied and sang along and rocked out to every awesome 80's tune you can think of.

Don't Stop Believing - check
Livin' on a Prayer - check
Walk Like an Egyptian - check
Sweet Child of Mine - check
Let me tell you something else. Seeing one of your bishopric members rock out Sweet Child of Mine is one of the coolest sights possible in this life. I'm convinced.

We went loud and hard till 11:00, then we finished with Free Bird and Courtney and Cameron had their first dance in front of everyone in their insanely cool wedding outfits dancing, jumping and jamming like the rock stars they are. Then the band packed up and the guitarist said what we were all thinking;

"I have played 100s of weddings but this is by far the funnest one I have been to"

There is just a magic that happens when a bunch of naturally crazy people, some good food, a few ties and dresses, and an electric guitar all come together in the same room and it's called Courtney's Amazing Wedding

I was so busy having fun that I forgot to take pictures but believe me, it was epic.

My teary eyed friend had the time of her life, we all had an amazing party and a little more happiness entered the world.

If that's not an amazing weekend I don't know what is.

Getting tailed by a lurking Claremont cop, being pulled over for "the lights around my license plate being out", and making me do the follow the tip of my finger with your eyes drunk test and asking me if I've had anything to drink 4x was pretty funny. When I told him the hardest I ever went was Diet Coke and I had had two of them he laughed and told me to I was good to go and I thought "Yes. Yes I was".

This is What I Do

So I have a lot of non-LDS friends and as part of the other 99.5% of the rest of the world, they drink.

I was at my buddy from work's place last night. His girlfriend (that is also a friend of mine) was throwing a party for her best friend's birthday. His roommate was there too and his roommate's on-again-off again-hang-around-like-a-disease-ex-boyfriend who he has never gotten along with and for good reason was also there. I don't really like him either. He's like the gay, petty version of the short, angry, mean chef from Ratatouille. They've been squaring off for a while and were getting ready to blow. I honestly was a bit worried about this party and what might happen when both of them got a little alcohol in them, and I was right to worry.

I was at Disneyland for the beginning of the night so everyone was like 4 rounds in by the time I got there. At my buddy's place there is this game room with a pool table and stuff upstairs but the rest of the party was downstairs. I was having a lovely chat in the kitchen with the dude with neck tattoos that was a very interesting and conversational guy. There's one of those at every party I've found. They weren't prison tattoos or anything crazy, they were Celtic stuff which was double impressive. We were talking about how much I wasn't drinking and he was like "you're the kind of person that keeps the world together..." etc.

So right then we both see a scuffle type thing going on upstairs and we look at each other like "Is that real or are they screwing around?" and then we say "Is that real or are they screwing around?" but then I hear the Douche Baggy Ex Boyfriend Man starting to yell so loud I can hear him above the music (which was considerably loud) and me and Nice Tattoo Guy look at each other like "damn" and without a word he puts his glass down and calmly goes upstairs like hes changing a light bulb or reaching the top shelf or something to 1) break it up or 2) throw the Ratty Boy out or both. It was pretty hot, I'm not going to lie. If he hadn't been there with a girl I would have given him my phone #.

Why are the only true specimens of non-related masculinity I've ever found very non-Mormon guys??!! It almost makes me cry but that's a whiny blog post for another day....

ANYWAY-

So there is still a bundle of scuffling feet on the landing up stairs that I can see from down stairs and the yelling died down so I started to go upstairs to see if they needed help and as I start going up Ratboy and his group come barreling down the stairs. I got out of the way just in time to see Roommate following them and yelling at him to get out so he left after a lot of screaming and arm flailing dramatic jacket grabbing and expletives.

I didn't know the fight was between my buddy and Ratboy at this point so I go upstairs to see if everything is OK because everyone has frozen into drink clutching pairs of big eyes downstairs.

It turns out Ratboy got buttered about something in the pool game, Roommate jumped in between him and my buddy and Ratboy sucker punched my buddy over Roommate's shoulder.

Now let me explain some things about my buddy; you don't punch him much less sucker punch him. The dude is an ice hockey player and a man's man type bada$$. He doesn't try to, he just is. He's a bundle of gentlemanly but unapologetic, barely mitigated testosterone. He's a softy but once he clicks over to his Hulk side its over. He would turn a guy into burger, dust off his shirt, pick up his pool cue and keep playing without turning the music down and ask you if you wanted another drink.

So I get upstairs and see my buddy pacing in the game room with a torn shirt and berserker eyes with a few people blocking the door so he couldn't get out.

Since Ratboy has "left" we let my buddy downstairs and hes still pacing around and screaming how "if he ever comes back here I'm going to kill him" and all that other chest slapping rhetoric boys do. I get him an ice pack for his eye but his adrenaline is pumping too fast.

A few ornaments got broken with Ratboys descent down the stairs and there was glass everywhere so I was sweeping things up and we heard something from outside and it turns out Ratboy left the house but he was still outside in the street with his peeps so my buddy, still pacing mad, just darts for the door faster than anyone can grab him.

Rule #1 with drunk fights is keep them as far appart as possible right? Well everyone failed. They hadn't morphed back from being giant pairs of frozen eyes. So I drop my broom and caught him in the drive way. Ratboy was still in the street. Some more yelling ensued and my buddy was flailing so bad I had to grab him around the waist to keep him from doing anything stupid. We were all about a minute away from the police station or the hospital or both. So I let him blow off as much steam as he could before I thought the neighbors might call the cops and then got him back in the house.

Ratboy left for real that time but came back about 20 min later with a knife and just walked in the house like an idiot. I was helping Roommate clean up spilled cranberry drink off of the beige velour carpet upstairs at the top of the landing and I saw him right when he walked in and Roommate was looking up the stairs at me and saw me see him and turn into a big pair of eyes looking down the stairs at Ratboy. Roommate turned around and started to chase Ratboy out again and Nice Tattoo Guy wasn't far behind. He held back during the first scuffle apparently but he charged out this time ready to regulate. Thank goodness. I stayed where I was because my buddy was in his room upstairs with his girlfriend still calming down so I look in the open door to his room at him to see if he realizes Ratboy is back. He does and starts the pacing mad let-me-at-him stuff again and his sweet bulldog Daisy is popping around and hes worried Ratboy would stab his dog so we get her back safely upstairs.

Ratboy finally takes off for real. We lock the door, debrief while we finish cleaning up more broken ornaments and spilled drinks and carpet, and once I'm satisfied everyone is sobering up and its over I say my goodbyes and head out, being grateful for The Gospel and that I could do some good. And that no one landed in the ICU (even though it might have taught Ratboy something and I wouldn't have been too sad). And that I didn't have to give a statement.

*hands in for no statements*

Weekend Report

My weekend report. No SNL cast members wandering around... sorry.

My weekend got started a little early when I got called into the Conference room at work on Friday morning and got laid off.

I'm OK. I'm super OK actually. I've been needing to leave this job for a while. It was eating my soul one tedious hour and mouse click at a time. I wasn't happy and it showed. It was a pleasant job in all the exterior ways; I liked my coworkers, my immediate supervisor was cool, it was a fairly healthy environment, they pay was fair. I was just trapped in a cell gray cubicle starring at a computer screen all day and it was killing me. I should have left a while ago and I had plans to start looking for a job in my field in Jan, I just get this two week vacation till then.

The only way I can think of describing the situation is like being in a relationship with a guy that's not bad, hes just boring and doesn't make you happy, he doesn't make you mad either but you're just not happy, but hes a decent guy so there's not justifiable reason to break up with him so you don't and then one day he breaks up with you and its all you can do to not give him a high 5. That's about where I'm at.

And to celebrate that night my awesome friend Molly and I went to Disneyland. We had actually planned it for a while, it just fell that way and it was perfect.

Disneyland at Christmas is one of my all time favorite things. Ever. Seriously. I know I'm a bit prone to hyperbole but I mean this. Fewer things bring me more joy than snow on Main Street, peppermint bark from the Candy Palace, the fireworks and a mickey eared Santa hat. It's the stuff of dreams.

I'm attempting to be a better record keeper so here are some pics of the night. I hadn't seen the castle with all the Christmas lights before and it took my breath away. Its the centerpiece of the whole park and it was amazing.



We came in on the monorail from Downtown Disney and swooped by this and I was a bunch of smashed cheeks and a nose pressed against the window. I can't get over how the sight of Small World at Christmas never ceases to amaze me. I've worked at Disneyland and been there as a guest more times that I think I could possibly remember and it still knocks me over. Every single time.



I adore this mammoth tree. It always reminds me of Mickey's Christmas Carol, all of Main Street does, but this tree is the perfect size to make you feel like a kid again.



The presents are huge. The ornaments are huge. This was my attempt at a scale shot. The ornaments are seriously as big as my head. It didn't quite work but I think I look pretty dang cute.



The moon was super close that night and this was a shot I took looking straight up. I thought it was pretty fancy. Maybe there's a photographer in my yet.



And this is me being and ABSOLUTE DORK watching the fireworks and thinking I can sing, watch fireworks, film, and stay warm all at the same time. I failed at a few of them, guess which ones....



Saturday was a trip down to San Diego to visit my friend NaToya and meet Patrick for the Snow Patrol concert that night at the House of Blues. The drive down the 5 was epic. The storm was blowing in so we actually had weather. Amazing! I know. I was so distracted by the sky the whole way down I think it bordered on a driving hazard. At one point there was this cloud break over the ocean and a few brilliant circles of light landed on the water and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I had to pull over and snap some real pics. It was so strangely hopeful to me. My mind was weighing down a bit with what was coming in the next few weeks and then I saw this and immediately felt better. It was a lovely Christmas present from Heavenly Father.


At the concert that night after we stood in line for nearly 2 hours we got in and the crowd that had gathered was some the the biggest mix of people I've seen any place ever. There were middle aged business men and over caffeinated and annoying 18 year old blonds like the one seen here. She would have given Tigger a run for his money with how she was bouncing every which way and flagrantly flapping this silly sign that said "I sang with you last time" like the band would recognize and/or remember her... honestly. At one point she ended up directly in front of Patrick and he politely said "What does your sign say?" so that she would put it down to show him but it didn't work for very long.


This band is amazing. I fully endorse and recommend their new album and any concert of theirs that you can get into. Yay for Northern Ireland Celtic men. They're just these instinctual artists and performers. I fell in love about 8 times that night with both Gary and Nathan, like every girl at a concert should.




Here's a snippet of Crack the Shutters *swoon*.
This song is so amazingly romantic I can barely stand it.

Objects in Mirror are Stranger than they Appear

Dear Person who invented the pick-up move “pace-her-on the freeway-with-your-window- rolled-down-and-ask-for-her-cell-phone-number”,

It doesn’t work. Furthermore, the people who have followed suit aren’t exactly the type of guy that would put it to practical or honorable use.

I have had to deal with this particular mode of picking-upness twice now and, admittedly, the first time was rather entertaining. I had the Mari-meister in the car and we had a proper giggle about it. She was available to take down your number by means of you holding up your fingers through your car window going 75 mph down the 210 freeway. We called, you talked, it was awkward, you said I was pretty and I thanked you and promptly erased your #. I’ll admit it. I was flattered. I never though much of my profile but apparently it was stalk-worthy, for 10 miles or so. Mari and I still laugh whenever it comes up because it really was quite a ridiculous situation. We were on our way back from church even – can you get more random?

Apparently yes, this last time I was quite put out by you invention’s antics. Word to the wise – being paced by a black mustang for 6 consecutive miles on the 101 at 1 in the morning is freaky enough, but when they driver is trying to coax you into exchanging phone numbers, that’s just downright creepy.

I know very few self respecting girls that would just give their phone number to a person they passed on the street. “Hey you’re cute – what’s your #?”. A bit of conversation and impressions must be had before an exchange can take place. Why would that be different in cars? I’ve struck up conversations with people I’ve been stuck next to in traffic before – and if they were charming enough I’d give them my number and we’d chat through our sigalert, no problem.

You really need to stipulate proper times and places for such a bold move because if done correctly, it could be quite charming. But if it’s done badly with poor timing, like I said before, Creep City.

Still checking my rearview,
~Liz

Definitions

Karma /ˈkɑrmə/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kahr-muh] -
When, in your fantastically adventurous youth, you took full advantage of the prank and sneak-out-of-bed potential that such events as Youth Conference and Girls Camp provided and gave your leaders more than one sleepless night. Then, a few short years later, you are called to serve in the YW program and get to chaperon Youth Conference in Big Bear Easter weekend, and the bouncing flashlights, emphatic leaf crunching footsteps, mumbling voices peppered with annoyance, panic and cold in the distance are not behind you but are your own.

Insanity /ɪnˈsænɪti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-san-i-tee] -
after not sleeping most of the previous night by spending it traipsing up and down mountainsides after restless Young Women in the arresting cold you proceed to get up at 3 am to meet 4:45 am call with the Southern California Mormon Choir, going into a cemetery in the hills, essentially in the middle of the night, to warm up outside, in the dark, singing by flashlight, keeping your voice from seizing up with tea and a homemade scarf, in prep for a 6 am Sunrise Service when "sunrise" isn't supposed to happen till 6:52 am. And who comes to 6 am services outside in the mountains where thousands of dead people are buried? About a 1000 people, thats who.

Token Da-dee-ta-dee /ˈtoʊkən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[toh-kuhn da-dee-ta-dee] -
When during said warm ups for such event and in between episodes of nodding off you realize that you had only been supplied with one version of costume for performances in the form of a black skirt and a black boat neck top but those around you are in a lovely Wedgewood blue with pearls. So being the singular choir member that isn't dressed properly you try to sit out but Mr. Director-man won't hear of it so you stand next to the men and hope that no one will see the tall girl, back row, center in the wrong color. In such states of sleep deprivation you decide to be the deliberate flaw in the Amish quilt and leave it at that.

Hysterical /hɪˈstɛrɪkəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hi-ster-i-kuhl] -
Driving home from said event such being inspired by the doves being released at dawn while singing the Hallelujah chorus, the ridiculous costume antics, all coupled with the effect of sleep deprivation and the relief that the performance is over, you proceed to have a slumber party worthy laugh fit that fills the entire ride home with your car pool buddy and her hilarious daughter consisting of, but not limited to, SNL sketches relating to Pepper ("peppaaah") and the term "Bellaisma!!!!"

Murphy's Law [mûr'fēz law] -
Your Young Women's President has been preparing and looking forward to Easter for weeks because she has planned a lesson consisting of a table set close to the floor with a complete and accurate spread of what the Last Supper would have looked like and had a tape that was the Last Supper, conversation wise, that she wanted to play for the kids, having the spread right there and letting them have that fly-on-the-wall experience via the performance of the tape. She asked you to teach the rest of the lesson, and by listening to the testimonies at Youth Conference of your kids you have come to realize that when they say "I don't really have a testimony of Jesus Christ but I like it here" that they need some serious and intimate experiences with The Spirit and Easter is a perfect opportunity and you really really want to make it a good lesson and a powerful experience. So, for preparation your Young Women's president gave the tape weeks ago and when you get home after Youth Conference schnanagans and Forest Lawn Services you go to look for the tape and it isn't to be found. A N Y W H E R E

Game Face /geɪm/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[geym /feɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciationfeys] -
so while totally reworking your lesson in your head absent of the tape and imagining how you are going to tell your Young Women's president and shoving down the panic that both concepts ignite, you are still committed to sing in part of the Easter program during Sacrament meeting and manage to sit on the stand and sing your solo without coming unhinged.

Tender Mercies /ˈtɛndər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ten-der mur-sees] -
After manically looking for said YW Pres while trying to be polite to a steady stream of congratulatory congregation members you find her and it turns out she has an extra tape and all is well. You set up and give said lesson on the power of Christ and the invitation to "come to the table" and every single kid is quiet, uncharacteristically not-squirrelly, attentive and sweet. You're praying as loudly as you can in your heart for the Spirit to be there and that the kids might understand, even just a modicum more, their relationship to the Savior. Your half an hour is up and at the end of the lesson you invite the kids to come to the table set with place cards with the Apostles' names on them and with grape juice filled crystal goblets, but at Christ's place, at the head of the table you set and filled a special silver goblet. After the kids had literally eaten every morsel of food on the table and drained every goblet of grape juice and had all cleared out you do what every Youth leader does so well, you start cleaning up . During that process you realize that in the midst of the ravished table they left the Savior's cup full and untouched and you weep because you know that they heard you, and more importantly, they understood.

Definitions

Miracle [mir-uh-kuhl]
noun -
When 3 guys, a cousin, and two adorable girlfriends show up at your packed and divided apartment at 9 am on a Saturday, get a moving van loaded, half unloaded to pack a storage unit, the rest unloaded at your destinaton including two refridgerateors moved and be sitting down at lunch with no one feeling particularly exhausted 4 hours later.

Lame [leyme]
adjective, noun, verb -
When you drive 45 minutes in the rain (after moving that morning) to a very cool joint in Glendale to see your friend's band that you haven't seen in like a year and find out that their car broke down and they didn't even make the gig.

Perk [purk]
verb -
The other bands at said joint (ie The Scene) were very good and it was a good, chill, clean music hub.

Cute [kyoot]
adjective, (cut·er, cut·est) adverb, noun -
When a guy you've passed a few times in church and had some pleasant banter with who is well dressed and very well mannered randomly calls you to see if you're going to FHE (which you aren't in the habit of doing), you politely says no but he says "see you there" anyhow.

After you don't show up he randomly calls again, this time on Friday night asking to hang out or catch movie, so slightly impressed you say yes and you end up in a crowded movie theater seeing Juno from the second row. You can't stop laughing at the situation because the two ladies sitting next to you cannot stop talking (very loudly) about the movie and are wondering (very loudly) about the plot that is very obvious that they were (very loudly) completely not getting and you can't help but notice how every time someone comes on screen their nostrils are the size of basketballs. However, at one point one of your favorite Sonic Youth songs (the Carpenters cover one) comes on and you both turn to each other and say (very quietly) "oah - this is one of my favorite songs".

On Sunday at church he comes up to you and says "I have a present for you" and pulls out a copy of the Juno Soundtrack (that you had plans to buy later on in the week anyway).

And you haven't listened to much else since.