Veritaserum

So I've admitted my absolute love for Quarterlife in previous posts and my gusto hasn't really subsided since then. The first season is over and I miss it a lot. So much even that I've gone back and rewatched episodes. About once a week actually. OK - so I'm hooked! It could be worse... It could be Rock of Love or something totally demeaning to the human race. Right? Right?!

There are two episodes in particular (18 & 19) that I absolutely love and I finally just realized why.

It's slightly embarrassing, but mostly because I tend to pride myself on how I've avoided teeny-bopper status on things. Like, I never liked the New Kids on the Block, I've only ever seen 3 episodes of 90210 (though Luke Perry did find a place in my heart for a bit - but I've always had a soft spot for the Rockabilly type), I never got on the DiCaprio or Johnny Depp band wagon either. Pretty much if anyone ever made the cover of Tiger Beat they were off my radar. However, Jared Leto (who graced that cover more than once) remains a facet of my adolescence because of My So-Called Life (which is now on DVD and my birthday is a short 4 months away..... *wink wink*). He's still tucked away in my heart. Even his obtuse 14 minute kung-fu music video with his (barely passable) band hasn't disqualified him. That's love man. That's the kind of fan I am.

It's all about the love.

I loved that show. Love loved luuurveed that show. Still do. And, like I said before, Quarterlife is from the same brain trust so there we go.

I uncandidly identify with angsty, brainy, socially stagnated, passionate female characters and I adore the male counter points they write for them and one of the things that I've realized from Quarterlife (among the many) is that I really want someone who is steely enough to fight with me.

Well firstly, and this is the veritaserum part, I think I just desperately want to be Dylan. I've always wondered what it would be like to be a 5' 2" 90 lber and to have a brain to boot. Being 5' 9" since 6th grade can give you a complex.

We also have a lot in common:
- We have similar coloring
- She wants to be a writer
- She has the tendency to be able to see into the heart of people and things but tends to feel completely invisible most of the time
- shes so busy talking she can't get out of her own way most of the time
- she has a fairly insane mother
... and the list goes on and on.

Have I made the point that she is a solid character and worthy of deconstruction yet? And!... And - and... therefore I'm not a completely hopelessly silly girl for loving her and the show so much? I hope I'm being that transparent...

Not to mention that Bitsie Tulloch is a great actress and holds a Harvard English Lit degree... That just adds to the cool I think.

Anywho -

One of the things that's different about Dylan that I want to be like is that it takes her 30 seconds to be self aware enough to say what shes really thinking (after the preliminary buffoonery in those situations where she talks too much etc). Yay for television magic. It usually takes me longer, years sometimes, to get to those kind of honesty points. And all of this usually comes out in the form of fights with Eric (love-interest-boy. aka - Mike Faiola. aka- Var Handsome Man).

My adorable, wise and learned friend Hannah (aka - the Queen of Australia) one told me about this series of books by Elizabeth Peters called the Amelia Peabody Mysteries. That's where she got my nickname (Indie-Poppins - cause I'm an Indiana Jones/Mary Poppins hybrid apparently). We were talking about healthy relationships and the marriage that the protagonist Amelia has with her husband came up. Hannah said, being inspired by Amelia Peabody that "a good marriage is a stalemate". Like you should both be each other's equal and therefore every battle is a good one, but a draw. You shouldn't be afraid to speak your mind and should be able to trust that the other person will most definitely speak theirs.

Slightly Irrelevant Aside: Maybe that's why Queen Elizabeth I totally fell in love with Walter Raleigh. He was one of the few men she met that was truly her equal. I mean, golly, she knighted him just to get him to stay in England a little bit longer. I would have for someone who would fight with me. For someone that would speak plainly to me and understood what would come out of my mouth no matter what it was, and there was someone that I wouldn't have to dumb things down for or rephrase or soften up. *sigh* - how marvelous. How truly romantic...

But back to Quarterlife and my escapist tendencies -

So - yeah - I would love a guy who I could fight (fairly) with.

I had one once. We still talk every once in a while and when we do it almost always includes moments of heated, tension filled (usually playful) bickering. I used to find this annoying but I've come to realize what it means and at one point this last week when we were going at it, via text, I finally told him that I missed it. I missed fighting in real life. How utter ridiculous is that? I missed the rush and the attraction/tension and connection. I miss feeling truly challenged by someone that close to me. I just missed it all.

I feel pretty confident in saying this because I'm fairly sure that this individual doesn't read my blog. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know that I have one actually, at least I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't.

But that's not the point. The point is ----- That......

1)I'm a really silly girl.
2)Finding your equal is no small feat and
3)keeping him is a downright miracle. I don't have knighthoods to hand out or a script to save me or tell me what to do next.

It's blind sailing and tugging your heart strings to steer, and, honestly, that's OK.