Sunday, March 29, 2009

Neck High in Familiar Waters Pt II

Mother in Heaven is a tip toe subject for a lot of people. Not much has been revealed about her. We're told its out of an awed reverence that our Father in Heaven has for Her. We, as a general human population haven't treated the revealed portions of Father in Heaven we've received with much reverence. Thinking what might happen if that was double complicated with a revealed Mother in Heaven might be disastrous.

Here's my thinking. If there is a fast track to anger my father it's to disrespect my mother. There are no second chances or appeals for grounding if us giving mom guff is ever involved. I can't imagine the consequences of that emotional dynamic on a divine level. I sometimes think that its in God's mercy that we don't know much about Her and thus have less of an opportunity to incur the wrath of God. Cities could be obliterated by fireballs from the heavens on a regular basis.

Also, the men of the earth (in general) haven't even received mortal women with the respect they deserve. What makes us think that we're deserving of a Divine knowledge as well? I think that She is entirely available on individual levels, but institutionally its a whole different story. Men can't even judiciously ask women out or stay away from porn. Asking about Mother in Heaven seems very ambitious.

Individually I think She is very much involved. We pray to our Father in Heaven in the name of Jesus Christ and humble and love both of them with everything we have. That's revealed doctrine and commandments.We don't pray to Her but that doesn't mean that we don't have access. I think that that's very closed minded thinking.

At the conference they talked about a number of different personal accounts of women in traumatic or dire situations that have received divine comfort that was distinctly feminine and maternal in nature. They claimed it as a communion with Mother in Heaven but I'm not so sure.

All I have are my personal experiences along that vein. They were just as powerful but of a slightly different savor.

Its about families right? The whole Plan is Families.

I would submit that The Plan is set up in families for many reasons and that those families play a MUCH larger part that we're aware of. My great Grandmother was a sassy, bright, and hard working Southern girl from Baton Rouge, LA. She moved west to find a husband after she joined The Church because Priesthood holders were (and still are) in short supply in the South. She ended up in AZ (she wouldn't go to UT) and lived an amazing and full life. He last husband's surname was Child so she was my Grandma Child. She died when I was very young but she meant the world to me then and now. She was very important to my mother too. She was the warmth, love and disciplinarian you'd expect from a Southern girl and then some. That kind of potency isn't diluted in death and especially if she felt she had work to do, namely "bringing up her Ladies". She never stopped in life and I'm sure she hasn't stopped in death.

Both my mother and I, in moments of deep thought and need have felt her very strongly. She has been intimately involved in both of our lives on the other side of the veil, on a divine mother's errand. My mother has felt her at every birth and for a good while thereafter. She's been to every baby blessing. I'm positive she was with me as I went through the temple. She was a temple worker in the Mesa temple for 15 years till she died.

I had a very distinct experience in the MTC with her. Practically a conversation. The veil is very thin there anyways but there was one day I was going a bit stir crazy and decided to run some stairs in the girl's dorm to get some energy out and grab some time to myself. Mom gave me Grandma Child's wedding ring before I left on my mission to "keep me safe". I know mom was terrified at the idea of me leaving but wouldn't show or say it but there it was, on my right ring finger with me on this work out and all of my fear and insecurity about my calling was coming out during this work out. I was feeling the too big bite I had taken. Tears started to come and right then I felt her. She was there running every step with me and loving me and holding me up and reassuring me and pumping all the positive energy and hope she could through whatever opening I gave her. She hasn't left me since. Sometimes I feel her censure, sometimes her approval, sometimes I practically hear her yelling at whatever boy is trying to talk to me that she doesn't approve of. In whatever is going on she is there.

She is a feminine divine in my life and a conduit into my better parts. I would suggest that that be considered when reflecting on these other women's experiences. Not that I'm accusing anyone of mellow drama, just that there might be slightly more logical solutions. I'm sure these women had concerned, capable and loving women in thier ancestry that wanted to help and love them.

I've also felt my Grandad (who has been dead for 20 years) potentially throughout my late teen and young adult years. I'm humbled that I'm able to feel more than just a heavenly presence but an identity and connection to these amazing people, that my relationships with them are strong and personal. They're my friends as well as my guardian angels. They're on the errand and doing the wishes of my Father and Mother in Heaven, I'm sure. They're made out of that love and I feel it. Almost everyday.

1 comment:

Liz W. said...

I have mixed emotions about why we don't talk about/to Heavenly Mother.

I prefer the "We don't know." defense when I'm asked why She's not addressed in prayer.

If I were a Mom, I would want to talk to my kids. Period. I wouldn't care if they were disrespectful if I felt I could help them, love them, and let them know I was listening.

I'd rather them yell at me, then ignore me.

But, I beleive there is a reason.

We just don't know about it... and I'm okay with that.